Journal ramblings from this time last year:
People change. Honestly. They don't fake it, they don't mean to, they just do. That's why you can rediscover yourself, because you became something else. I've met people who don't change. I'd like to think that makes them strong, steadfast. Contraire. They are stubborn, impossible humans with the inability to fault themselves and an incredible capacity to see it in others. But what is steadfastness? If everyone changes, surely steadfastness, specifically steadfast love, cannot exist because you would be loving a different person per change. And yet, there are people who do love steadfastly. God, to name one. So people change and yet can be loved by the same person forever? If a husband were told by his wife that he was loved, loved for his passion, his strength and his ability to write, only to wake up the next morning to find himself without passion, weak and suffering badly from writer's block, can she still love him? Is it really him? What if he remains this way for years? Is she allowed to divorce him? After all, he isn't really himself anymore. Is he?
No.
He is. Somewhere, something inside us is {essence}ial. Our identity. True love finds it first. It looks past nice smells, fake passion and false traits. True love finds that unchanging, unequivocally beautiful part of someone and holds on, fully aware of inevitable change, real, natural. Maybe it's ugly to some people, but to you, it glows brighter and more beautiful than the sun and all the stars. Steadfastness does exist after all. People can be loved even through change, natural or manipulated. You can find yourself if you look hard. Traveling helps. A depth of relationship with the Creator grounds a person. Experience changes how we feel and think, how we love and how we die. You are you, and I am me, and change is alright because real love is steadfast.
Always//Anwyn
